Reminiscence

I have no recollection of our time in Ballykinler, Downpatrick, where I was born on 24 March 1954. I was told that we lived in a hut that had been used to house chickens. Born in the local hospital, I understand I was quite poorly for a while.

My earliest recollections are at about one year old, crawling on the floor and discovering a coin, wondering what it was. I tried to say three-penny or whatever it was but could not - my mother said it for me. I remember trying to stand up but couldn't very well as I got tired easily.

My parents told me we crossed the Irish Sea by ferry when I was a baby. We must have gone straight to Berwick as Keith was born there on 18 August 1955.

We then moved to Plymouth.

Whilst in Plymouth, I do remember my mother being very sad because my father would regularly have to go away on Army business, leaving us alone.

Linda was born in Plymouth - on 10 October 1956. I liked Plymouth a lot and had a few friends plus my tricycle!

I clearly remember my tricycle. It was my most prized possession. Unfortunately for me, one day I rode it into the middle of a full-scale army drilling session and caused a disruption which ended up in my father being placed in the guardhouse. Not long after that, the tricycle was taken away from me - I remember the resentment that caused me, to this day.

I vaguely remember visiting Berwick on Tweed, with a view to moving into Army married quarters, I must have been between four and six years old. We didn't like what we saw but had to move there anyway. The small 'hut' we stayed in had a very smoky chimney and we all suffered from that.

Many memories are blurred with time however I did do a count of the schools attended - thirteen in all, so we moved from place to place many times. Often we would have to speak to the school authorities ourselves, explaining why we were joining the school and then why we were leaving - I would have to speak for the younger ones, being the oldest.

My first encounter with school was in Lauder. I really wanted to start school but had to wait till I was five. I remember winning an art contest at school and getting a book as a prize - Noddy.

We (my friends and I) used to pass a carpenter and we asked him one day if he could make us a wooden sword and were thrilled when he said he would but we had to wait - we enjoyed playing with them a lot.

Andrew was born in Lauder on 23 October 1959 and Laura was born 18 December 1960 and.

We were there a few years.

A friend lived next door to us and his family bred guinea pigs. We often went to watch them.

I remember how much we enjoyed going to the local sweet shop for things like 'Lucky bags'. Once, a 'friend' suggested we get some matches. I was unsure but foolishly went along. Then we went along the field that was at the back of our houses, trying to light things - nothing worked - till we came to our house. This friend said to try in our garden but I did not want to. He did and the grass was very dry. Before I knew it, the whole garden was alight. I went to the back door to alert the family, taking a baby's potty and offering to put the fire out with it! Funny after the event but not at the time. Needless to say, I was in big trouble. My mother sought assistance from my friend's family they used a hose to put out the fire. There were only scorch marks on the outside of the house.

On another occasion, I remember us older ones eating the rhubarb in the garden and then Mum told us that it had been sprayed with weed killer. I remember asking if we would die but Mum wouldn't say. I can only presume we must have been a bit naughty.

We stayed at Berwick three times altogether however I really only remember the last stay well.

To watch television you had to go by yourself, across the Drill Square to a dull television room and sit with mostly strangers and watch whatever was on at the time so, needless to say I didn't watch much TV there. My time was spent roaming the seashore and playing with friends. I can still recall the mysterious mounds (old ruins) that lay on the cliff tops along the coast. We would travel that way when walking to the town.

One time on the cliffs, Keith Linda and I were cut off by the tide and had to climb up the cliffs to safety. Unfortunately, Linda was terrified and some people had to help her up.

One trip I remember well, along those ruins, was to the film The Alamo. The film was very sad and frightening to me.

Our bungalow was a 'semi' and there was a door between bungalows. We were friends with the children next door and we would sometimes shout through the door - actually the girl was my girlfriend - I was only seven or eight.

Sadly, we moved away from there to Lanark.

I remember once in Lanark throwing an acorn or something at a Fire Engine. I hit the bell and ran away from home with my brother Keith. On the journey we came across a bird caught in a trap but we were afraid of being pecked so we left it - feeling very guilty. When we were hungry, we went home! We can't have been late and I don't remember getting into trouble for it.

While we were in Lanark we were told we might be going to Borneo and we had to have about thirteen injections - they were horrible. In the end we didn't go, as it appears Dad had upset someone who stopped it from happening.

I think Lanark was the scene for the Lucozade episode. Linda was annoyed at me for something and decided to get her own back. She had tonsillitis and Mum used to give us Lucozade when we were ill. Linda wee'd in a bottle and called me in the room. I was invited to have a drink of 'Lucozade'. She then told me what she had done. I was not pleased.

The back garden there was full of all kinds of fruit and vegetables and was interesting to be in.

Often I would go and stand near the drill-square and watch Dad drilling the soldiers, or watch the bands playing the bagpipes. I remember one or two fainting on a particularly hot day. It seemed there were always bagpipes playing. After a while, I got tired of hearing them.

I think it was there that I joined the Sea Scouts and remember going home from there once and seeing people gathered round a boy who had been run over by a bus. He died on the scene. The bus driver was crying bitterly.

Other places we moved to were Edinburgh, and Glasgow. John was born in Glasgow on 7 September 1963.

I don't remember much about them.

Dad was posted again and we moved to Blackpool. Mum was left to look after us all in lodgings. (The landlady said she was a friend of Cliff Richards and The Shadows). Mum was often upset, due to not having her own home and for other reasons not known to me.

I remember Keith and I wandering the streets of Blackpool - in the games Arcades and also the Bingo. That was free early mornings! We were eventually banned from the Arcades as we used to look for coins in the 'one-armed bandits' and then use those to win money on the 'penny waterfall' machines.

Both Keith and I felt really out of place at school there.

Eventually we were moved to Kent in a small bungalow - Per Mart. The Army rented it for us.

I remember the long journey down there and particularly the trip along the Kent coast, wondering what it would be like and whom we would meet. It seemed a bit bleak. We eventually arrived at Gravestone.

A violent criminal was said to have hidden there and I remember the Police searching the attic for a gun. The bungalow was close to the sea (about 50 metres) and it was a bit creepy at night - we used to think we heard 'things' moving about.

The little steam train passed our back garden and once Keith and I tied Linda up on the line to frighten her - she was frightened. We let her go in good time.

We made the trip to New Romney on that train once - I thought it was very exciting.

School was at New Romney and we took the bus each day and then had a little walk. I remember heating up bottles of milk on the schoolroom boiler in the winter - even adding milkshake to it.

The project we did on Pier Gint's Hall of the Mountain King really sticks out in my mind.

Dad once took us to a Christmas party in a neighbouring town but for some reason, I am not sure we ever went in there - possibly cancelled. I think it was snowing heavily.

Once a man came to the house and offered Mum a car. Dad, as usual was away - £5 was a lot of money and she was short but she bought it. I think she had to borrow some money from someone after that. When Dad got home, he said there was no floor in it!

I was afraid of burglars there and while Dad was away at camp, I rigged up an alarm, consisting of tin cans. When he arrived home late one night he wondered what was going on however the children enjoyed hearing about that.

Per Mart was very creepy and the beds smelt musty and the lighting was dull. I was often left baby-sitting for Mum and Dad, just listening to a radio. The reception was poor and would come and go - it sounded creepy too - whining and whistling in the dark.

Mum had her first breakdown there and it was very frightening. Dad finally returned home and Mum was committed to Dover mental hospital where she stayed for months.

I was left behind to do my 'eleven plus' while all the family were moved near Dad's relatives in the North East. I was very sad to leave there and remember crying in my bed - I did not want to leave my friends.

I remember the journey up there very well and at being awed at the size and sights of London at night. Dad had arranged for people to meet me at my train connections. It was all very strange. I also clearly remember feeling sick after being given very strong coffee without sugar - a particular flavour that I have not experienced since.

When I arrived in the North East - the Ridges estate, I was taken to My Aunt's house that was a lot rougher than I had been used to and then to another Auntie whose house was rougher still. That was an experience. We (my brother Keith and me) were fed poorly and as a result I remember feeling very sick often. Keith was also sick. The sleeping arrangements were appalling.

Keith used to be continually picked on and I would pick on them. I seemed always to be having fist- fights. One particular time, we had a whole crowd of children follow us home, calling names, particularly at Keith. It was horrible and we were very unhappy.

I was glad when we left there. Dad collected us all and took us to a new house - the Drill Hall in Lockerbie.

I loved Lockerbie. I had my old bike that I cycled for miles - Dumfries was 25 miles away but I loved the cycling - on my own. Later, after Dad saw how much I enjoyed the bike and how I was often 'picked on' because it was old and black and I had bought a leopard-skin seat cover, bought me new one. That upset some members of the family (the other four) but I was unaware of this at the time.

I made friends with a boy whose father worked on a farm and I used to walk/cycle up there almost every day, whatever weather and for all day. Sometimes we would pick farm produce and fish for trout to feed ourselves.

Lockerbie Drill Hall was a centre for physical fitness and there were many visitors and students (Territorial Army.). Often we found it difficult to sleep as there were people drinking in the Drill Hall bar till late at night. In the morning, the smell was horrible - old beer and stale crisps.

As children we used to listen to Dad's old records and I can still remember songs like '….another day older and deeper in debt'. The music used to give me the creeps but there wasn't much else to listen to. I attempted to learn the trumpet and trombone and practiced in the Drill Hall, so as not to disturb anyone.

William was born while we were there - 5 April 1966. I remember going to the hospital to see him and Mum in nearby Dumfries.

It was a bad mistake to try out joke shop cigarette inserts on Dad and Mum's cigarettes - we got into trouble for that one.

For some reason Mum decided to persecute Keith, calling him "the thing" and "it". I never really understood why. It must have been something to do with her illness. I used to try to take the blame for things he had done but still the persecution went on!

We got up to all sorts of things. We used to go to the nearby building site for the new Police station and get into the cement mixer and spin each other. One time we threw sealed bottles and cans onto a workman's fire and watched them explode. This attracted Police attention and they came to the house - we were disciplined hard for that.

Once we were allowed to try out rifles in the shooting range - Linda shot the lights! Dad stopped it there!

Once again, Mum had a breakdown and Dad came out of the Army and moved us to North Shields. We went into rented accommodation till Dad got his redundancy money from the Army.

We were in an upstairs flat and as a large family, we often made noise and the people downstairs used to bang on their ceiling with a brush. We used to stamp back. They moved and we got their flat. Upstairs made noise and we used the brush to bang on the ceiling.

Dad said that at night loads of black beetles would come out from behind the boiler and sometimes even into the bedrooms.

Space was a problem and on one occasion I complained about invasion of privacy. Dad lost his temper and threw me to the ground. My arm went out and the door was slammed, cutting off the tip of my finger. We went to hospital on the bus! At least I had some time off school.

Dad had always been a disciplinarian and this example proved hard to shake off in later life.

School was a problem. We were sent to a really rough school serving the Ridges estate. I was certain I shouldn't be there. The kids in my class would gather round to watch me do maths - certainly not because I was anything - just different from the usual. It was a really rough school. Some kids would protect me from the others. I went to Headmaster each day and he asked for proof of my claims, asking me to speak French - they sent me to Preston High school but sadly they didn't do that for Keith. I tried to speak up for him to the Headmaster but they wouldn't listen. He had to endure this school for a long time. I felt really sorry for him.

The money eventually came and we moved to Whitley Bay, Fern Avenue. One of the children was sent out to get a paper on Decimal day - 15 February 1971. They took along William who was only four. On the way, William ran out between parked cars and was struck by a taxi. He ended up in the children's hospital in Newcastle. When I returned home from work at the Guardian Royal Exchange in Newcastle-on-Tyne, no-one would tell me what happened to William, so I thought the worse. I found out later. We went to visit and he looked awful. His face had been badly torn by the accident and was black and blue and swollen but since then he has healed well.

Mum became ill again and would run down to the beach suddenly and had compulsive washing habits. Dad would go and collect and had her breathe into a brown paper bag, to calm her down.

She was sent away to Morpeth hospital.

When she came back she was soon found to be pregnant and the midwife would come in each day to give her iron injections as she was in danger of losing the baby with anaemia. She looked really well when the baby came however Neil was somehow damaged at birth - Dad said his head was shaking a lot and then he died. We were never allowed to see him and Dad insisted on going to the funeral on his own.

Mum again had a breakdown.

She came home again and Sarah was born 5 July 1971.

Fern Avenue was a large house, with attic rooms. In winter they were so cold you didn't want to get out of bed because of the cold but you were still cold in bed, despite many army blankets. The front reception room was nice though, with a small brick fireplace and chandelier.

I had my Royal Enfield motorbike there and went all over with it however when I first got it, I was encouraged to try it out on a disused railway track full of holes. I came off and have the scars to this day. I hid the wounds from my parents in case I got into trouble and they stopped me from using the bike.

We moved to Hilton Terrace, North Shields.

We had many problems there and I remember having frequent bouts of asthma. I obtained my first car there - a Morris Minor. As soon as I passed my test I took all my brothers and sisters for a run in it.

Dad found a house that was cheap (as he was short of money) - Albany Gardens, Whitley Bay.
We visited. It was rough. A woman had been sleeping in the front room and I think she had died. Her bed was still there along with the bedclothes. There had been dogs and we found, later, many bones in the garden.

We bought it but did not have the money to repair it. What a filthy mess it was. There was a bag full of maggots upstairs where the bathroom was - Dad threw it out the window! It was awful.

Despite all our attempts, it was a depressing hole and Dad decided to sell it to the Council and they were to rent it back after doing improvements. We were moved to a house on a roundabout on the Newcastle Coast road - a dual carriageway.

Mum was ill again and was sent to Morpeth. I was able to take Dad in my car by then and we visited regularly. On one occasion Mum ran away from Morpeth and was found in the dark, in a bush, by a lorry driver who spotted her in his headlights. I learned during these times that Mum had been treated using Electro convulsive therapy and was horrified but it seemed that they didn't know what else to do. (In later years she was successfully treated in Hellesdon Norwich for a chemical imbalance and for a few years before her death in 1987 led a fairly normal life).

After a long time and many letters to the council and the Ombudsman we were moved back to Albany Gardens. Dad even won a settlement from the council for all the time we waited for the work to be done. The house was transformed. It was clean, smelt nice and I had my own room! The younger children shared. I did feel a little guilty.

All the older children were either teenagers or coming up to it and this was a very turbulent time. Dad continued his drinking and would come home every night and give long lectures about the world. If you ever disagreed he would scream and bang the furniture. I took to running to bed as soon as I heard the door go. Sundays was a particularly bad day and it took years before that day lost its feeling of fear.

One day, he came home and told William to tell me that unless I left home within half an hour, he would throw all my belongings into the street. I left, tried to find somewhere but in desperation was taken in by a good friend and family for a while.

I moved to Norfolk in 1978. One by one, nearly all the family followed me. What happened in that house after I left I do not know and can only sympathise with the others however I feel that there moving to Norfolk was the best move possible.